A Lesson In Personal Space

amiand zulu 1

ZULU: All right Amarula, it’s time you accepted that I get to share the backyard with you. There is more than enough space for everyone to have a good time. Now let’s prove to mom that we are mature and can act like adults by hanging out without a fight.

itsonly fair

ZULU: It’s only fair that I get to enjoy lying in the grass and smelling the fresh summer air too!

look how well we are doing

ZULU: Now look how well we’re doing!

see isn't this great

ZULU: Isn’t this fun!??

what u doing

ZULU: You’re awfully quiet over there Amarula. What ‘cha doing?

washing

ZULU: Oh, that’s good. You’re just washing up.

awfully close

AMARULA: Yep. Just want to make sure that my claws are nice and clean and in working order.

awfully close

ZULU: What do you mean working order? You seem awfully close Amarula!

i mean this far

AMARULA: Now, Listen carefully. Here’s the deal. You must stay at least an arm’s length away from me if you don’t want to get up close and personal with my claws.

that far1

AMARULA: You know what, make that two arm’s lengths away! Nope, still not far enough. I’m gonna push on you with all my might and that’s as close as you are ever allowed to get!

2 arms lengths

AMARULA: Just a little farther…

play nice

AMARULA: Ah oh! The human is watching us. She is yelling something about how I must be nice to you! You don’t need to hear that nonsense!

i'm otta here!

ZULU: I’m out of here! You just can’t play maturely Amarula!

alone at last2

AMARULA: Alone at last!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Cats are Working Hard On Labour Day!

amarula in tie (2)

AMARULA: Labour!?? I’m against it. I get Frodo to do all my chores! But I always dress up on Labor Day; what can I say, I look great in a tie.

 

laborfro1

FRODO: Goody Goody!! Labour Day is here! Amarula is always nice enough to let me do her chores! I love working! You get to meet all sorts of people. And mom always gives me a treat when I wear a tie. Yummy!

 

ohnowhereismybriefcase

FRODO: Oh no! Where did I put my briefcase? Amarula is going to kill me if I lost those files on the best way to catch a squirrel! Well, there’s only one thing to do when a crisis arises on the job…

 

sleeponthejob

FRODO: Sometimes you just gotta sleep on the job!

 

waitaminite1

ZULU: Labour Day?! I love it! I get to wear all these very bespoke outfits that really capture my fashion-forward side. It drives the ladies crazy!

 

wait2

ZULU: But I think I may have this tie all wrong! Why did I trust Amarula to help me put it on!? She told me it is supposed to go this way! Assistance!? I need assistance here!

 

forlornlawyer

ZULU: Ah…much better. What do you think of this pose? This is my powerful yet sensitive, brooding lawyer pose (ladies love fat cat lawyers). I’m a feline-rights advocate in the middle of a tough case trying to get equal rights for cats by insisting that all parks with off-leash dog zones must also have fenced-off feline-only areas. Though I’ve made some headway, the court is really fighting me on my insistence that all cats be armed with tasers and be allowed to zap any dog that comes to close to our feline-only perimeter. Lady Justice is a harsh mistress! OK Costume change!

 

flower collar

ZULU: Ah yes, the simple flower. This is my modern interpretation of a cravat. Men don’t just have to wear ties anymore!

 

tough but tender

ZULU: It says to the ladies that I am comfortable with my feminine side.

 

tough but tender2

ZULU: I am tough yet tender. And maybe just a little shy. Oh and it doesn’t hurt that the yellow really shows off my smooth-as-silk chocolate fur…

AMARULA: Can someone please shut that cat up?! Why is he still talking? And who would ever wear a flower collar to work?!?! What does any of this have to do with Labour Day?? He is really putting the BORE in Labour Day!

ZULU: Shut up Amarula! Labour Day only happens once a year! OK, next costume change!

 

genious

ZULU: At last, my other lawyer look. I stare down the jury with my mysterious, intelligent gaze.

 

youcan't handle the truth

ZULU: Finally, the end of the trial nears…I let loose a deep sigh as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Then I slowly look up to the jury and yell: You can’t handle the truth!

 

ready forcigarandcognacnow

ZULU: The court is in an uproar! The men are shouting, while the ladies swoon.  Of course, I win the case, and yet I am humble in the face of victory.

 

cognac

ZULU: OK I’m ready for my cognac and cigar! Frodo…Frodo where’s my cigar and cognac?! Is that cat sleeping on the job again!?

 

oh no

FRODO: Oh no! I can’t remember where I put Zulu’s cognac and cigars!! I forgot that Labour Day can be quite stressful!

 

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In The Doghouse: Hitting Rock Bottom

AMARULA: So the human is a little miffed with Frodo who has been grounded indoors until he learns what areas of the backyard he is supposed to stay away from! Hee Hee Hee! So it started something like this…I noticed Frodo hanging out in the backyard staring longingly at the rock garden area that the human has declared a no-go zone until her rock garden plants take root.

mindinghisownbusiness

 

whatyadoing

AMARULA: Hey there Frodo? Whatcha doing? Why are you sitting here so close to the rock garden? Why not go take a look?

FRODO: Mom and Zulu said I’m not supposed to Amarula! They’re worried I will dig up all the seeds and baby plants!

AMARULA: What!! As if you could ever hurt a baby! Come on, I’ll go with you. It can’t hurt to take a little look can it?

otta here

FRODO: Well that sure sounds like a good idea Amarula!! What could it hurt!?

AMARULA: What indeed??!! Let’s go!

have a plan

AMARULA: Now you take a good look around Frodo! Don’t be afraid to really dig stuff up. I’ll just stay here out of sight in the shade so you can have all the fun cause that’s just the kinda cat I am!!

FRODO: Boy! Gosh oh golly Amarula you sure are a swell friend!

explore

becomeonewiththerockgarden

AMARULA: That’s right Frodo! Make yourself at home! Become one with the rocks!!

 

somethingin the rocks

FRODO: Oh Boy this is soooooooooooooo fun!

dig

closer

FRODO: WOW! I wonder what is hiding in between all these rocks!

AMARULA: That’s right Frodo, stick your head right in there! Think of all the exciting things you will find!

rg1

stuck

FRODO: OH no Amarula! I think I’m stuck!! Help!

AMARULA: Don’t you worry there Frodo, I see the human making a beeline for you right this minute!! And she doesn’t look happy! Mmmmmwwwwahahahahahaha!

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Catnip: Just Say No!

 

AMARULA: Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I predicted that Frodo and Zulu were just too young to handle the responsibility that comes with having your very own catnip patch in your backyard (well, MY backyard technically–no matter what the human says– but you know what I mean). I told the human that only I should be allowed to play among the catnip’s lush leaves. I knew that only I was mature enough to explore its sweet, intoxicating nectar without becoming a victim of its trance-inducing side effects. Some were not so lucky…

 

zulucat2

AMARULA: Zulu, believing that bathing himself in catnip made him more appealing to the ladies, was the first to go

zulu1catnip

AMARULA: It isn’t pretty, is it?

glasseyes

AMARULA: The glassy eyes say it all!
catnip3

AMARULA: Frodo lasted a bit longer, his youth (and I would argue, his lack of IQ) gave him a higher tolerance for the catnip’s hallucinogenic affects.

catnip patch2

AMARULA: But eventually, he too fell victim to the herb’s siren call of stupefaction.

catnip patch2

AMARULA: Feel free to look away, dear readers! It is quite appalling. Don’t let this happen to your beloved felines!!

 

proudherb

AMARULA: And finally, where once a proud herb stood lush and tall, there is now only desolation and the faint smell of cat tears!

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