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Amarula Has A Nose For Trouble!

AMARULA: What’s that you say?

AMARULA: My Tortie nose is so cute you want to touch it?

AMARULA: Go ahead, pet my nose. Don’t be put off my the fact that it’s incredibly close to my pointy teeth. You can trust me…

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader! We are also joining Feline Friday from Comedy Plus.


1. Luring humans into a false sense of security and getting them to do something stupid like pet my nose is one of my many talents.

2. I am ready for winter to be over. Enough already!
3. I have a hard time being modest due to my overwhelming intelligence and beauty. Clearly, Frodo and Zulu can’t sympathize with my “burden”.

4.Being Tortielicious is easy for me.

Amarula Is All Ears For Easter!

AMARULA:  Someone phone the Cruelty Against Torties hotline and get me otta here! Oh the shame!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader! We are also joining Feline Friday from Comedy Plus.

  1. For Easter ( or Passover), I plan to focus on the EAT in Easter and take a bite otta my human for putting me in this stupid outfit!!
  2. My favorite Easter ( or Passover) treat is bunnies of course—but not the chocolate variety if you know what I mean!
  3. Lately, the song Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen‘ by Louis Armstrong is stuck in my head. For obvious reasons!
  4. The A-Z Blogging Challenge….. the alphabet is a human construct that I don’t subscribe to. The only thing I need to communicate with are my claws! And I am sharpening them right now….

 

Amarula Steals The Spotlight

AMARULA: Oh my! The spotlight on little old me! I’m honored!

AMARULA: Oh, who’s kidding who?! We all know I was born to steal the spotlight!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. My favorite Dr. Seuss book is _The Cat in The Hat of course. We torties are so lucky that we look good in everything, including hats! Imagine a dog trying to wear a hat! Never! They would look ridiculous. Unlike us felines, they lack the dignity and elegant bone structure to carry it off!
  2. The most interesting person I have ever met is I will give you a clue…a see her every time I look in the mirror!
  3. Besides books by Dr. Seuss, my favorite book as a child was though I have not actually read it yet, I assume I would love 101 Dalmatians. Apparently, Cruella De Vil takes a bunch of Dalmatian dogs to make a coat. It sounds marvelous! I can’t think of a better use for a canine!
  4. Lately, I have been working on my memoirs. I plan to call it: A Feline Opines: The Sage Musings of A Misunderstood Mouser. Send money now for your autographed copy!

Amarula’s Between A Rock and A Hard Place

AMARULA: There’s danger to the right of me and danger to the left of me and I don’t know where to turn! Help!

Amarula also wants to thanks Bear (and his human) from Momma Kat and her Bear Cat Blog for nominating one of her posts (Monday Madness: Amarula Has Cabin Fever!) ” in the “Best Pet Humor Blog ” category in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose awards! Amarula is honored just to be nominated!!! Thanks!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

AMARULA: Thank goodness the human got her computer fixed in time for me to offer my erudite and oh-so-drole answers to the fill-ins! She apologizes for not being able to post or visit blogs for the last week!

  1. My favorite president is the president of the “Vote Amarula for President” club because naturally, I am the president (and the only member if I’m being honest).
  2. This weekend, I have plans to shred, maim, nap, nap, nap, cough hairballs up on Frodo while he sleeps, nap, nap, poop in Zulu’s favorite bed by the fire, nap, nap, revel in my tortiness, nap.
  3. I love my fur coloring. Though Zulu describes it as “something that Halloween threw up” I believe I look resplendent!
  4. I believe in Tortietude!

Amarula Has A Cold Snap!

AMARULA: Sigh……..

AMARULA: Why can’t I escape the feeling that this never-ending winter thing…

AMARULA: Is somehow Zulu and Frodo’s fault??

AMARULA: I think I’m gonna go find them and whappity whap them back into summer!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

1. Trust a tortie at your peril! Mwhahahahahahaha….

2. I would protest WOULD?!?! You mean DO! Protesting is pretty much my life! In fact, I protest this fill-in!!

3. I have hidden a dead mouse in the kitchen cupboard. The human has been asking “what’s that funny smell” since  “ last Tuesday!” I have to do something to amuse myself through the winter!

4. Right now, I would kill for a Bailey’s Irish Cream to help warm me up! I wonder where that human hid the key to the liquor cabinet this time! I vehemently protest the locking of the liquor cabinet!!

We are also joining Comedy Plus Feline Friday!

You Know It’s Winter When….

You know it’s winter when Amarula actually doesn’t mind hanging out (for very short periods) with her brothers! Although Frodo did ruin it a second later by going in for a hug! The little guy never learns!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. I have never been able to _get used to using an indoor litter box. Those contraptions are for felines who are trapped inside cat-containment units (aka houses) not for free-wheeling felines like myself. Because I won’t go outside I have to use them in the winter…But I don’t like it!!! And I show my displeasure by throwing litter everywhere! Ha ha!
  2. I wish I could still smell the ocean air in Cape Town, Africa. It was a hard life being a street cat in South Africa but at least I had no snow and the air always smelled oceany! (Though I will grudgingly admit Canadian air smells pretty nice too! Don’t tell the human I said that!). 
  3. March 19th (the last official day of winter) is my ideal winter night.
  4. Zulu and Frodo get more interesting the longer I am trapped indoors through the winter (don’t tell the human or those two dunderheads I said that). Occasionally I even try to play with them for about five seconds. Then I come to my senses, shake off my winter fever, and give them a good swift wappity whap.

Amarula: Go Ahead, Make My Day

AMARULA: Hey what are you doing? Stop taking photos I am trying to nap.

AMARULA: Yes I know I look cute but leave me in peace!…. On second thought, I was being harsh. Please forgive me. In fact, why don’t you move in closer….that’s right.

AMARULA: Closer….I’ll even let you rub my belly. Don’t you wanna rub my belly? Come on…

AMARULA: Just a little closer…my belly is waiting. Of course, you can trust me! Would I lie to you!?

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. My guiding word principle for 2018 is: “It’s time to turbo-charge the Tortitude!”
  2. A house is not a home without a: rotting mouse carcass on every floor (extra points if the human can smell it but just can’t find it! Heh Heh!).
  3. I look forward to: continuing my reign of terror in and out of the house this year.
  4. I really need to have a one-on-one with Mother Nature, because this winter is lasting way too long and being indoors for so long is not good for my figure!

 

Winter Wins This Round

AMARULA: No! I do not want inside. I refuse to let winter win. I am staying here and not moving until all the snow melts.

Five minutes later….

AMARULA: OK I give up! Let me in! You win this round winter!

 

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

1. I can’t wait to see the human open my gift to her. It’s in the litter box, where I leave all my presents!

2. I have had the same sour expression since winter arrived.

3. I would not mind if Santa were to bring me some fresh cat nip. Frodo got into my last batch! 

4. On Christmas Eve, I always get into the eggnog. That stuff is more potent than cat nip!                     .

Amarula: Winter and the 5 Stages of Grief

WINTER: The five stages of grief…

Stage 1: DENIAL

AMARULA: I wonder why the human was acting so odd when she let me outside this morning…hey, what is this strange white stuff that seems to be everywhere?

AMARULA: I wonder where all the birds are? Well, I’ll just wait by the bird feeder and terrorize them as they fly by like I always do…if I could just get this white stuff off of my paws…

Stage 2: ANGER

AMARULA: SNOW! Noooooooooooooooooooo! How could you do this to me again Mother Nature! Curses!

Stage 3: BARGAINING

AMARULA: If winter would just go away, I promise I would be nice to Zulu and Frodo.

Stage 4: DEPRESSION

AMARULA: I can never escape winter! I might as well bite down on this electrical cord and end it all now!

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE

AMARULA: It really is everywhere isn’t it?

AMARULA: I’m outta here! Let me inside!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. Snow is the ENEMY
  2. I is my favorite word in the universe! I like to think that I put the I in tortIe!
  3. One holiday memory that I cherish is when I managed to hack up a hairball right under the Christmas tree! Is there any better gift to show the human just what I think of the holidays and her festive spirit???
  4. I always thought that Santa is clearly a dog person. Why else would he LEAVE presents instead of TAKE them? Clearly a dog lover; no self-respecting cat person would ever do such a crazy thing.

 

Amarula’s Grounded (or is she)!?

AMARULA: Many of you read about my near-death, tree-trapped experience on Monday. I appreciate all the concern and wanted my loyal readers to know that I made it down safely! While it took a few tears (the human’s, not mine of course), curses, a friendly neighbor with a ladder, and not one but THREE cans of wet cat food, I made it safely back to earth! Though I am finding Zulu’s teasing and Frodo constant pestering about why I didn’t invite him on my “adventure” more than just a little annoying!

AMARULA: I know I would have come down on my own in my own sweet time if the human had been more patient and less hysterical! Come to think of it, I’m gonna show that tree who’s boss!

AMARULA: Otta my way! Don’t try to stop me….

AMARULA: Ah Ha!!! Told you so! Now take that tree! Who’s Tortie of the Treetops now!?

AMARULA: Oh oh! I don’t remember it being so high up last time. When did the tree put on high heels!? It sure is a looooooooog way down….

AMARULA: Helloooooo! A little help here! Do we still have the number of that cute firefighter with the ladder??

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. I can’t believe that fur is still sold. I love my fur and can’t imagine what I would do without it and I sure feel bad for those animals who don’t get to keep theirs!
  2. I have listed Frodo and Zulu for sale on Craigslist. Don’t tell the human.
  3. Going into December, the weather outside is FRIGHTFUL! My nemesis winter is clearly on the way. My pleas to Mother Nature have gone unanswered!
  4. My current weakness is….what is this thing you call weakness! I am a Tortie and tough is my middle name (well actually according to the human it’s smoopee fluffy face but never reveal that to anyone on pain of death!)