Time for My Human to Die

Time For My Human to Die: I’ve Been Antlered!

December 23, 2016 by Amarula

AMARULA: Trust me, this is one reindeer Santa does not want pulling his sleigh!

AMARULA: Why me!? Surely this qualifies as animal abuse!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

Week 33: December 23, 2016

I still need to find where the human is hiding Frodo and Zulu’s presents so I can change the gift tag on them and label them as mine before Christmas.
My favorite episode of Seinfeld is Festivus For the Rest of Us! Though I love airing my grievances any time of year!
What I really would like for Christmas is: My two front teeth. Seriously. Not joking. When the human “rescued” me off the streets as a stray (she insists on calling it a rescue. I prefer to call it “catnapping”) she took me to the dentist. I went in with four canines and woke up with only one (apparently my teeth were pretty bad)! And I didn’t even get any money from the tooth fairy!
My favourite part of Christmastime is trying to bring down that darn tree (usually at about 3 AM!) Timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Time for My Human to Die (Happy St. Patty’s Day!)

March 17, 2016 by Amarula

The Human’s cruelty knows no bounds. Granted, green shows off my emerald eyes to perfection, but still, there are limits! I was almost going to let her live until she added the feathers. Now I am just deciding whether I should wait to kill her until after she feeds me. Murder and mayhem can be so tiring on an empty stomach!

Time For My Human to Die (and Happy Halloween!)

October 30, 2015 by Amarula

AMARULA: While it’s true that few felines could carry off a hat as well as I can, forcing me to wear a Halloween headpiece is reason enough for my Human to feel the wrath of my claws! I am so not amused!

August 31, 2015May 13, 2015 by Amarula

AMARULA: So dear readers, as you all know, winters in Canada are not exactly my favorite. As a cat born and raised in South Africa for most of my life, cold, snow and ice were things I thought only happened to other felines. Sadly, as much as I love Canada (these guys make the best catnip! What do they put in that stuff? I think it is heavily sprinkled with maple syrup and Canadian bacon!) I still hate the winter season! So I was very excited when spring came around again and I was raring to go outside to terrorize those pesky birds and squirrels. Or at least I was until THIS happened:

My human is making me wear a bright red collar that is best described as a cross between an Elizabethan collar and a clown accessory. Can’t believe your eyes?? Here’s another look:

Why me Lord?? Apparently this collar (which is by Birdbesafe [no affiliate link, the human just thinks they deserve a mention]) is supposed to make me more visible to songbirds and hence make it impossible for me to catch any (as if the five bells the Human already had on my collar weren’t making it impossible for me to terrorize my feathered foes!). Sadly, it does indeed seem to be working. I wait by the bird feeder but not a single bird appears!

It is also pretty hard to be camouflaged with this thing on!!

Even those two dunderheaded cats I am forced to share my home with seem to feel the collar makes me more “approachable” and no longer maintain the 10 foot perimeter around my personal space I had instituted.

The collar seems to have also had the unfortunate effect of decreasing my “street cred” with the cats in the neighborhood. No longer do they quiver in fear as I walk by! Worse, my boyfriend down the street, Charlie, took one look at me and turned away! He couldn’t even bear to look at me!!