Month: December 2017

Happy Holidays! Who Wears The Santa Suit Best?

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AMARULA: I am not feeling jolly. I wonder if the human realizes she has exactly 30 seconds left to live if she doesn’t get this thing off me NOW!

ZULU: I don’t know what you’re complaining about Amarula! This outfit is great. The colors really set off my fur. Ho, ho, ho ladies! Who’s been naughty?

ZULU: Hey, wait a minute. Does this make my butt look big?

FRODO: The things we do for our mom, am I right?

FRODO: Ok, box me up! Amarula says Santa needs extra help this year so she is gonna box me up and send me to the North Pole! Yeah! Amarula’s the best! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

We are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Winter Wins This Round

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AMARULA: No! I do not want inside. I refuse to let winter win. I am staying here and not moving until all the snow melts.

Five minutes later….

AMARULA: OK I give up! Let me in! You win this round winter!

 

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

1. I can’t wait to see the human open my gift to her. It’s in the litter box, where I leave all my presents!

2. I have had the same sour expression since winter arrived.

3. I would not mind if Santa were to bring me some fresh cat nip. Frodo got into my last batch! 

4. On Christmas Eve, I always get into the eggnog. That stuff is more potent than cat nip!                     .

Amarula: Winter and the 5 Stages of Grief

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WINTER: The five stages of grief…

Stage 1: DENIAL

AMARULA: I wonder why the human was acting so odd when she let me outside this morning…hey, what is this strange white stuff that seems to be everywhere?

AMARULA: I wonder where all the birds are? Well, I’ll just wait by the bird feeder and terrorize them as they fly by like I always do…if I could just get this white stuff off of my paws…

Stage 2: ANGER

AMARULA: SNOW! Noooooooooooooooooooo! How could you do this to me again Mother Nature! Curses!

Stage 3: BARGAINING

AMARULA: If winter would just go away, I promise I would be nice to Zulu and Frodo.

Stage 4: DEPRESSION

AMARULA: I can never escape winter! I might as well bite down on this electrical cord and end it all now!

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE

AMARULA: It really is everywhere isn’t it?

AMARULA: I’m outta here! Let me inside!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. Snow is the ENEMY
  2. I is my favorite word in the universe! I like to think that I put the I in tortIe!
  3. One holiday memory that I cherish is when I managed to hack up a hairball right under the Christmas tree! Is there any better gift to show the human just what I think of the holidays and her festive spirit???
  4. I always thought that Santa is clearly a dog person. Why else would he LEAVE presents instead of TAKE them? Clearly a dog lover; no self-respecting cat person would ever do such a crazy thing.

 

Amarula’s Grounded (or is she)!?

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AMARULA: Many of you read about my near-death, tree-trapped experience on Monday. I appreciate all the concern and wanted my loyal readers to know that I made it down safely! While it took a few tears (the human’s, not mine of course), curses, a friendly neighbor with a ladder, and not one but THREE cans of wet cat food, I made it safely back to earth! Though I am finding Zulu’s teasing and Frodo constant pestering about why I didn’t invite him on my “adventure” more than just a little annoying!

AMARULA: I know I would have come down on my own in my own sweet time if the human had been more patient and less hysterical! Come to think of it, I’m gonna show that tree who’s boss!

AMARULA: Otta my way! Don’t try to stop me….

AMARULA: Ah Ha!!! Told you so! Now take that tree! Who’s Tortie of the Treetops now!?

AMARULA: Oh oh! I don’t remember it being so high up last time. When did the tree put on high heels!? It sure is a looooooooog way down….

AMARULA: Helloooooo! A little help here! Do we still have the number of that cute firefighter with the ladder??

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. I can’t believe that fur is still sold. I love my fur and can’t imagine what I would do without it and I sure feel bad for those animals who don’t get to keep theirs!
  2. I have listed Frodo and Zulu for sale on Craigslist. Don’t tell the human.
  3. Going into December, the weather outside is FRIGHTFUL! My nemesis winter is clearly on the way. My pleas to Mother Nature have gone unanswered!
  4. My current weakness is….what is this thing you call weakness! I am a Tortie and tough is my middle name (well actually according to the human it’s smoopee fluffy face but never reveal that to anyone on pain of death!)