Three Canadian cats and their adventures
FRODO: Well it’s Canadian Thanksgiving today and mom let us all have some turkey. I might love turkey even more than tuna!! Yummy! The problem is that now we all have turkey tummy! And we are lapsing into a Thanksgiving coma….zzz
AMARULA: Ummmm…turkey….zzz…
ZULU: My belly is filled with turkey…and sunbeams…zzz…
FRODO: I need more turkey STAT! I promise my tummy has room for more turkey!
AMARULA: Labour!?? I’m against it. I get Frodo to do all my chores! But I always dress up on Labor Day; what can I say, I look great in a tie.
FRODO: Goody Goody!! Labour Day is here! Amarula is always nice enough to let me do her chores! I love working! You get to meet all sorts of people. And mom always gives me a treat when I wear a tie. Yummy!
FRODO: Oh no! Where did I put my briefcase? Amarula is going to kill me if I lost those files on the best way to catch a squirrel! Well, there’s only one thing to do when a crisis arises on the job…
FRODO: Sometimes you just gotta sleep on the job!
ZULU: Labour Day?! I love it! I get to wear all these very bespoke outfits that really capture my fashion-forward side. It drives the ladies crazy!
ZULU: But I think I may have this tie all wrong! Why did I trust Amarula to help me put it on!? She told me it is supposed to go this way! Assistance!? I need assistance here!
ZULU: Ah…much better. What do you think of this pose? This is my powerful yet sensitive, brooding lawyer pose (ladies love fat cat lawyers). I’m a feline-rights advocate in the middle of a tough case trying to get equal rights for cats by insisting that all parks with off-leash dog zones must also have fenced-off feline-only areas. Though I’ve made some headway, the court is really fighting me on my insistence that all cats be armed with tasers and be allowed to zap any dog that comes to close to our feline-only perimeter. Lady Justice is a harsh mistress! OK Costume change!
ZULU: Ah yes, the simple flower. This is my modern interpretation of a cravat. Men don’t just have to wear ties anymore!
ZULU: It says to the ladies that I am comfortable with my feminine side.
ZULU: I am tough yet tender. And maybe just a little shy. Oh and it doesn’t hurt that the yellow really shows off my smooth-as-silk chocolate fur…
AMARULA: Can someone please shut that cat up?! Why is he still talking? And who would ever wear a flower collar to work?!?! What does any of this have to do with Labour Day?? He is really putting the BORE in Labour Day!
ZULU: Shut up Amarula! Labour Day only happens once a year! OK, next costume change!
ZULU: At last, my other lawyer look. I stare down the jury with my mysterious, intelligent gaze.
ZULU: Finally, the end of the trial nears…I let loose a deep sigh as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Then I slowly look up to the jury and yell: You can’t handle the truth!
ZULU: The court is in an uproar! The men are shouting, while the ladies swoon. Of course, I win the case, and yet I am humble in the face of victory.
ZULU: OK I’m ready for my cognac and cigar! Frodo…Frodo where’s my cigar and cognac?! Is that cat sleeping on the job again!?
FRODO: Oh no! I can’t remember where I put Zulu’s cognac and cigars!! I forgot that Labour Day can be quite stressful!
AMARULA: So the human is a little miffed with Frodo who has been grounded indoors until he learns what areas of the backyard he is supposed to stay away from! Hee Hee Hee! So it started something like this…I noticed Frodo hanging out in the backyard staring longingly at the rock garden area that the human has declared a no-go zone until her rock garden plants take root.
AMARULA: Hey there Frodo? Whatcha doing? Why are you sitting here so close to the rock garden? Why not go take a look?
FRODO: Mom and Zulu said I’m not supposed to Amarula! They’re worried I will dig up all the seeds and baby plants!
AMARULA: What!! As if you could ever hurt a baby! Come on, I’ll go with you. It can’t hurt to take a little look can it?
FRODO: Well that sure sounds like a good idea Amarula!! What could it hurt!?
AMARULA: What indeed??!! Let’s go!
AMARULA: Now you take a good look around Frodo! Don’t be afraid to really dig stuff up. I’ll just stay here out of sight in the shade so you can have all the fun cause that’s just the kinda cat I am!!
FRODO: Boy! Gosh oh golly Amarula you sure are a swell friend!
AMARULA: That’s right Frodo! Make yourself at home! Become one with the rocks!!
FRODO: Oh Boy this is soooooooooooooo fun!
FRODO: WOW! I wonder what is hiding in between all these rocks!
AMARULA: That’s right Frodo, stick your head right in there! Think of all the exciting things you will find!
FRODO: OH no Amarula! I think I’m stuck!! Help!
AMARULA: Don’t you worry there Frodo, I see the human making a beeline for you right this minute!! And she doesn’t look happy! Mmmmmwwwwahahahahahaha!
AMARULA: Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I predicted that Frodo and Zulu were just too young to handle the responsibility that comes with having your very own catnip patch in your backyard (well, MY backyard technically–no matter what the human says– but you know what I mean). I told the human that only I should be allowed to play among the catnip’s lush leaves. I knew that only I was mature enough to explore its sweet, intoxicating nectar without becoming a victim of its trance-inducing side effects. Some were not so lucky…
AMARULA: Zulu, believing that bathing himself in catnip made him more appealing to the ladies, was the first to go
AMARULA: It isn’t pretty, is it?
AMARULA: The glassy eyes say it all!
AMARULA: Frodo lasted a bit longer, his youth (and I would argue, his lack of IQ) gave him a higher tolerance for the catnip’s hallucinogenic affects.
AMARULA: But eventually, he too fell victim to the herb’s siren call of stupefaction.
AMARULA: Feel free to look away, dear readers! It is quite appalling. Don’t let this happen to your beloved felines!!
AMARULA: And finally, where once a proud herb stood lush and tall, there is now only desolation and the faint smell of cat tears!
FRODO: In honor of international cat day, I was able to dig up one of the ONLY photos in existence of all of the trio together! Normally Amarula does not deign to allow Zulu and I to get so close but, because she was so soundly sleeping, Zulu and I were able to sneak up on her and we all had a nap together!!
This is a photo of us all together the moment BEFORE Amarula opens her eyes and gets the surprise of her life when she realizes we are all together!
Bingo! She sees us! Just look at those eyes open in shock! Hee Hee
FRODO: Mom just gave us all some extra treats to celebrate International Cat Day!! Yummy! I hope cats everywhere get extra treats today!!
FRODO: I really don’t think it’s fair that Amarula can go out whenever she wants and she gets to go out without a harness! There has to be a way outta here!
ZULU: I know what you mean Frodo. It just isn’t fair! And she has such a smug look!
FRODO: I can’t even stand to look at you right now Amarula! I am so jealous!
FRODO: Quick Zulu, I’ll hold the window up and you make a run for it! At least one of us should taste real freedom!
ZULU: Forget it Frodo. It’s useless. I can’t figure out how to get rid of the screen!
