Blog Hop

Being The Boss Is Hard Work

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AMARULA: Why am I napping you might ask? Because I have spent the day overseeing the construction of the neighbor’s deck…and it does NOT meet with my approval. They refused to take any of my suggestions!

AMARULA: Where are the scratching posts? Where is the flat-screen TV to watch my favorite Garfield reruns?

AMARULA: And where are the private alcoves for litter boxes?

AMARULA: Humans just have no sense of aesthetics and decor!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

Week 70: September 8, 2017

  1. September bucket list:  1) torment Frodo, 2)  torment Zulu , 3) repeat 1 and 2
    2. If I came with a warning label, it would say something along the lines of that quote by Joanne Clancy — ‘Be the kind of woman feline who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says Oh, no! She’s up.’
  2. Truth be told, what is this thing you call Truth?? Sounds like something I would eat for breakfast!
  3. I would rather give up Friskies tuna treats for a week then endure another Canadian snow-filled winter!

 

Mancat Monday: Frodo’s Love is Back!

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AMARULA: You may remember that last year we had a serious trespasser in MY backyard domain: Play-doh. Frodo promptly fell in love with Play-Doh (who belongs to the neighbor and who we have since discovered is a male cat…but I don’t plan to tell Frodo that…Frodo falls in love at the drop of a hat. I don’t think gender is of concern to him). Well, reader you will be happy to know that I have not seen the miscreant this summer. I have been patrolling my domain and you can rest easy knowing that we will not have to run into that troublemaker….

 

Are you so sure Amarula?

FRODO: Well, I know my big sis Amarula was never a fan but I sure miss my good pal Play-Doh. I wonder what she is up to?

AMARULA: Play-Doh! Noooooooooooooooooooo! I give up! I am outta here!

FRODO: Is that really you Play-Doh!?

FRODO: Yeah! It is you! Yippee! Let’s play!

FRODO: What do you mean you have to go already?

FRODO: Well, then give me a kiss goodbye!

FRODO: And then off Play-Doh went through the fence to her side of the world.

FRODO: Come again soon!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

 

Zulu’s Guide To Stretching

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ZULU: Hi loyal fans and lady cats! Last week Amarula bored you with her summer slimming routine (clearly, it’s not even very effective if you know what I mean). And Frodo showed you his anti-gravity workout as well. So this week I want to show you how I keep myself so lithe and good-looking with stretches.

ZULU: First start with a basic easy open arm stretch that I like to call “Welcoming the sunpuddle.”

ZULU: Then move on to this more advanced move where you curl your toes and yet stretch out your nails as far as possible while twisted into a backwards half circle.

ZULU: Now push one back leg and one front leg as far apart as possible (this move can be facilitated by snorting copious amounts of cat nip 10 minutes before hand—-the herb really stimulates flexibility!)

ZULU: Now roar to the world what a ferocious feline you are! My favorite mantra is “I am Zulu the Great and Gorgeous!”

ZULU: End by striking a cute pose and pausing long enough so that your human can admire how beautiful and clever you are. Belly rubs are optional…

ZULU:…but are always appreciated!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Amarula’s Summer Slimming Workout

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AMARULA: Often my fans (and I have many) ask me how I look so good and maintain such a striking physique. Aside from just being born so good looking, another important factor is my summer outdoor exercise regime, which I am going to share with you today. So get your pens and paper ready…here we go…watch and learn!

AMARULA: First you roll to the left.

AMARULA: Once there, you stretch your paws way out. It’s important to keep your front legs and paws flexible in order to beat up Frodo protect yourself from any annoyances or dangers.

AMARULA: Once you’ve reached your full stretch you cry out to the world your mantra. Mine is: “I am TORTIE! Hear me roar!”

AMARULA: Then you just roll over to your right and repeat the whole thing over again!

AMARULA: Complete your workout with a well earned nap! Be warned dear listeners…no matter how much you workout it’s important not to have unrealistic expectations. In other words…you’ll never look as good as me no matter how much exercise you do!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

 

Stop, Look, Listen…and Ignore

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AMARULA: Oh yes human. I am listening to the details of your day with rapt attention. Do tell. Do tell.

AMARULA: Just wake me up when your exciting tale is over. And has anyone ever told you that you make a better door than a window!? Now move out of the way of my sunbeams!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. If someone were visiting my area, I would recommend a visit to my backyard bird feeder. Though the little buggers have thus far eluded my grasp, I bet it’s the best restaurant in town.
  2. My favorite room in my home is any room where Frodo and Zulu are not.
  3. Back-to-school time makes me think of the peace that will return to my kingdom once all those screaming little humans have gone back to their September prisons.
  4. My favorite year of school was…School! I didn’t go to school. I school others in the ways of Tortietude!! And the teacher is always in!