Amarula

Time For My Human to Die: I’ve Been Antlered!

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AMARULA: Trust me, this is one reindeer Santa does not want pulling his sleigh!

AMARULA: Why me!? Surely this qualifies as animal abuse!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

Week 33: December 23, 2016

  1. I still need to find where the human is hiding Frodo and Zulu’s presents so I can change the gift tag on them and label them as mine before Christmas.
  2. My favorite episode of Seinfeld is Festivus For the Rest of Us! Though I love airing my grievances any time of year!
  3. What I really would like for Christmas is: My two front teeth. Seriously. Not joking. When the human “rescued” me off the streets as a stray (she insists on calling it a rescue. I prefer to call it “catnapping”) she took me to the dentist. I went in with four canines and woke up with only one (apparently my teeth were pretty bad)! And I didn’t even get any money from the tooth fairy!
  4. My favourite part of Christmastime is trying to bring down that darn tree (usually at about 3 AM!) Timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

 

Monday Madness: The Cats Play Musical Boxes!

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How do you amuse yourself when it turns cold outside if you’re a feline? Musical boxes, of course!

It started with Zulu, who clearly found bliss in his box!

Then Frodo claimed a box…

Amarula got jealous that they were having fun without her…

So Amarula kicked Zulu out and claimed a box! Now I have to order something else from Amazon so everyone can have their own box!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

 

 

 

Amarula is Famous! Book Release: Makin’ Biscuits – Weird Cat Habits and the Even Weirder Habits of the Humans Who Love Them

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AMARULA: Yes that’s right dear readers! I’m packing my bags and heading to Hollywood, or maybe Washington or Timbuktu ….where do famous cats go?? Anyway it doesn’t matter because I have written what is sure to be a bestselling book!


AMARULA: What do you think? Should I use this photo on the book cover and promotional tour? It shows the tormented genius that all brilliant authors have. It makes me look intellectual and angry (my signature look) all at the same time.

FRODO: You wrote a book!?! Oh I knew you could do it Big Sis! You are just so smart! Can I get a copy? Can I get an autograph?

ZULU: No No NO! Amarula did not write a book! Cat blogger Deborah Barnes (of Zee & Zoey’s Cat Chronicles) wrote the book. It is her big Book Release! It explores all our wonderful feline habits that are, for some reason, often indecipherable to humans! Amarula is just mentioned a couple of times — and so are you and I for that matter Frodo!

AMARULA: Well surely I can at least highlight where I am mentioned (in essence, the best part of the book). I am mentioned in: Things That Go Bump in the Night – page 97; Rules of the House – page 131; and The Unexpected in Life – page 207. These snippets tell how Zulu and I moved to Canada from South Africa, the strange way the human has to feed Frodo by throwing dry food up the stairs, and how I once dragged her winter boot up the stairs in the middle of the night and she thought it was an intruder (I am so amusing!). I am even mentioned in the press release (check it out here)! As I am pretty much the star of the book, it’s sure to be a bestseller!

ZULU: No No NO! You are not the star of the book! Every single cat mentioned in the book is a star! Including, I would like to emphasize, Frodo and I! I think it’s going to be a hit!  I’ve seen Mom reading it and she can’t stop laughing, so she must be enjoying it! Some of her favorite cat bloggers, like 15 and Meowing are also in it!

FRODO: So I’m confused… do I or do I not get an autograph from Amarula?

It’s true! The trio share a few stories in this funny book that any cat lover is sure to enjoy! You can check out the details here.

Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective: Part 3 Mission Accomplished!

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AMARULA (aka Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective): As you may recall, last Monday I had finally cornered my greatest nemesis: Play-Doh (that’s right, as in that sticky, clay-like stuff kids love to play with!). Scuttlebutt among the neighborhood cats is that’s the ridiculous name her human’s gave her! Humans can be so cruel! Hee hee!

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AMARULA:  I will be frank. She proved to be a greater foe than I imagined. She has nerves of steel! Neither of us proved victorious for the sidewalk showdown so we had to take the competition up a notch! It was time for the dreaded “Bouncy Belly Beatdown”. In this fierce battle maneuver, both cats display their bellies in a competition to see whose is the cutest and most rubbable. She started the Bouncy Belly Beatdown:

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AMARULA: She was off to a weak start…

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AMARULA: But pretty quickly she starting giving it her all by exposing what even I must admit is a very rubbable belly!

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AMARULA: So then I showed her my stuff! Close up please…

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AMARULA: Have you ever seen a cuter tummy? And look at that exquisite toe curl! Then I just flash my emerald green eyes and no one can resist me! I mean it’s incredible, right?!

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AMARULA: Finally we had to admit that both our tummies were incredibly cute and call a tie. So we moved on to the final competition: the Staredown!

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AMARULA: She gave it a noble effort…

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AMARULA: But finally she had to admit defeat! I was victorious! The streets, sidewalks and backyards of the neighborhood were once again mine!

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AMARULA: Look at her run in fear (well, alright, maybe not so much run as saunter)! She was a worthy opponent who fought fairly so we came to a compromise that she could visit MY backyard once a week. At other times…

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AMARULA: She has to stay on her side of the fence!

AMARULA: Where she and Frodo can stare longingly at one another from a distance!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Caturday Art: Sherlock Hopeless Gets Artsy

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This photo is an artful rendition (using Dreamscape’s Spring theme) of Amarula being unsuspectingly shadowed by that Felonious Feline from the previous Sherlock Hopeless detective story earlier this week (stay tuned Monday for the dramatic Finale to find out who wins the sensational sidewalk showdown!)

 

We are joining Athena’s Caturday Art blog hop!

Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective: Part 2 Sidewalk Showdown!

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AMARULA  (aka Sherlock Hopless Pet Detective): Well, I did it! Phffffft to all you naysayers! I told you I would track down that sneaky feline who has been coming into MY backyard to hang with Frodo and I did it! While my extensive investigative search a few weeks ago proved fruitless, (I simply could not concentrate because I always felt like I was being followed!) this week was much more successful!

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AMARULA: I was doing my regular neighborhood-watch patrol of my sidewalks, minding my own business….

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AMARULA: When Blam! She jumped out of a pile of leaves!

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AMARULA: I relied on my lighting-like reflexes and used some of that fancy footwork us torties are known for to avoid the fluffy ball of danger! Yet she persisted in following me! Did the idiot not realize that I intended to introduce her to my “Paws of Death” to persuade her to stay away from my backyard!? Clearly all that fluff has gone her head!

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AMARULA: Well, I hated to do it, but clearly this was going to call for some serious feline ferociousness! It was time for the dreaded Sidewalk Showdown!

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AMARULA: The goal is to protect your side of the sidewalk until one feline gives way and admits the other’s superiority. It ain’t pretty folks and can get quite fierce! You may want to hide your children and look away…

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AMARULA: Dear readers, you may want to get comfy… this could take awhile…to be continued…

 

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Zulu’s Lessons In SunPuddle Bathing

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ZULU: With the weather taking a sad turn towards the lower end of the temperature gauge, you can be sure that means us felines will be spending more time indoors and less time on supervised outdoor visits! Therefore, it’s absolutely vital to take full advantage of indoor sunpuddles. While Amarula would tell you otherwise (and Frodo, who is so easily manipulated by that devious diva, would likely agree!) it’s actually I, Zulu, who is the brains (and the beauty, come to think of it!) of this operation! So I will take it upon myself to educate all my fur-bearing brothers and sisters about the proper techniques of sunpuddle bathing!

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ZULU: First you do your back. This is the most obvious position and the one most of my feline brethren tend to rely on the most.

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ZULU: Now this is where things can get more complicated. You gotta then tilt ever so slightly to your right to do your right side.

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ZULU: Now you ever so elegantly move so that your left side is now exposed to the sunpuddle. Some concentration will be required to properly execute this position.

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ZULU: Now, the final position. This is one many felines forget. The tummy must also be allowed to enjoy the warmth of the sunpuddle. A warm belly can go very far in aiding digestion and help eliminate issues with an upset stomach and gas (I’m talking to you Amarula!). This position is an advanced maneuver and requires dexterity but just be sure to engage your stomach muscles!

ZULU: Now let’s move on to the proper way to groom…

AMARULA: Shut up Zulu! How dare you suggest I have gas! Nobody cares about your stupid lessons on anything! Now be quiet so I can do my Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

Week 30: December 2, 2016

  1. I have a hard time finding a gift for ….wait a minute…I’m gonna need somebody to explain what this sentence means…it seems to suggest that I would actually buy someone else a gift?? It makes no sense…I am a RECEIVER of gifts…definitely not a GIVER!

 

  1. I have no problem finding a gift for …Geesh! Again with the gift giving! Please refer to my response to number 1! Repeating myself makes me want to scratch someone…..

 

  1. One of the best gifts I ever gave was….OK For the last time!…Please refer to responses 1 and 2 above! Gosh! What is it with these humans and gift GIVING!?

 

  1. One of the best gifts I ever received was…OK! Finally! Now we’re speaking my language! Gift RECEIVING!! Well, it is hard to narrow it down to ONE gift as my minions do love to shower me with presents in hopes that I will allow them to bask in my presence. I would have to say it was the day the human (who usually shows a distinct lack of serious concern for my myriad needs) took both Zulu and Frodo to the vet at the same time for their annual visit. I was able to enjoy a precious few hours on my own. It was divine! The best gift the human could give me!

 

AMARULA: On a more serious note, though Frodo, Zulu and I did not know Sammy or Easy well, we wanted to say our thoughts are with your humans as you both head to the Rainbow bridge. And if I could invite Sammy to fly with me anywhere it would be to my backyard, which I think is the best place in the whole world! I’ve left a spot right beside me for you to come join me whenever you want!

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If I close my eyes just a little and squint really hard, I think I can see Sammy and Easy head together towards the bridge!

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On a more serious note. Though we did not know