There are Aliens Among Us! And I am Outnumbered!
Well, just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse after mom adopted the South Africa stray cat, I wake up to this:
Sweet God they are ugly!
Clearly mom has lost her mind! She already has one cat and then she goes out and buys two more! And then names them Zulu and Biltong! Doesn’t she know that giving them names makes them REAL!
Apparently they are Orientals (related to Siamese) and she paid real MONEY for them! Who actually pays money for a cat!?? Like dad says, you can just go to any neighbourhood dumpster and grab one from there! Worst of all, the kittens seem not to realize that I am a BASSET TO BE FEARED AND RESPECTED! They seem to have no fear of me at all and, in fact, seem to find my softness and warmth irresistible (well, ok , I am incredibly soft and warm…but still!)
I just don’t get it… my menacing basset stare just isn’t instilling the fear and sense of doom I expected. They just can’t seem to get enough of me!
Seriously! Seriously! Is this what my life has come to? Not a shred of dignity or solemnity left!?? Oh the indignity!!! I try to hide under the bed so they can’t find me.
- Even Amarula has the good sense to try to hide in a box to get away from the kittens:
I don’t know what mom was thinking! They seem to have no redeemable qualities at all and have the intellect of a dust-ball! From what I can tell they do little but chase their tails and then sleep all day:
Often sleeping next to me!
- Not only do they sleep all day but they sleep in the craziest, most uncomfortable looking positions!
Suffice to say, I am NOT IMPRESSED! I will have to consult my good basset-pal Waffle to see what he thinks my next move should be! I have already tried to strangle them while looking like I am actually enjoying sleeping with them, but that does not appear to have worked–the kittens still breathe!
- The sleep-strangle hold is one of my best moves. Sadly it does not appear to work!
Well dear readers, until I come up with a plan, pray for me!
