Amarula

It’s Quitting Time!

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Amarula has a special way of letting me know when she thinks I’ve been working too long and it’s time to call it a night!

AMARULA: What part of quitting time do you not understand human?

AMARULA: How could this computer possibly hold your interest more than me?

AMARULA: Clearly it’s time for the stink eye.

AMARULA: Don’t think ignoring me will work! I’m digging in my heels!

AMARULA: What part of “pet me NOW” don’t you understand? I am perfectly prepared to “deposit” a little “present” on your desk if you continue to ignore me!

AMARULA: I said NOW! Look closely into my eyes! Do I look like patience is one of my virtues?

HUMAN: All right! You win Amarula, I’m done for the night.

AMARULA: I always win! Mwwwwwhaha!

We are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Amarula’s Between A Rock and A Hard Place

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AMARULA: There’s danger to the right of me and danger to the left of me and I don’t know where to turn! Help!

Amarula also wants to thanks Bear (and his human) from Momma Kat and her Bear Cat Blog for nominating one of her posts (Monday Madness: Amarula Has Cabin Fever!) ” in the “Best Pet Humor Blog ” category in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose awards! Amarula is honored just to be nominated!!! Thanks!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

AMARULA: Thank goodness the human got her computer fixed in time for me to offer my erudite and oh-so-drole answers to the fill-ins! She apologizes for not being able to post or visit blogs for the last week!

  1. My favorite president is the president of the “Vote Amarula for President” club because naturally, I am the president (and the only member if I’m being honest).
  2. This weekend, I have plans to shred, maim, nap, nap, nap, cough hairballs up on Frodo while he sleeps, nap, nap, poop in Zulu’s favorite bed by the fire, nap, nap, revel in my tortiness, nap.
  3. I love my fur coloring. Though Zulu describes it as “something that Halloween threw up” I believe I look resplendent!
  4. I believe in Tortietude!

Amarula Has A Cold Snap!

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AMARULA: Sigh……..

AMARULA: Why can’t I escape the feeling that this never-ending winter thing…

AMARULA: Is somehow Zulu and Frodo’s fault??

AMARULA: I think I’m gonna go find them and whappity whap them back into summer!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

1. Trust a tortie at your peril! Mwhahahahahahaha….

2. I would protest WOULD?!?! You mean DO! Protesting is pretty much my life! In fact, I protest this fill-in!!

3. I have hidden a dead mouse in the kitchen cupboard. The human has been asking “what’s that funny smell” since  “ last Tuesday!” I have to do something to amuse myself through the winter!

4. Right now, I would kill for a Bailey’s Irish Cream to help warm me up! I wonder where that human hid the key to the liquor cabinet this time! I vehemently protest the locking of the liquor cabinet!!

We are also joining Comedy Plus Feline Friday!

You Know It’s Winter When….

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You know it’s winter when Amarula actually doesn’t mind hanging out (for very short periods) with her brothers! Although Frodo did ruin it a second later by going in for a hug! The little guy never learns!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. I have never been able to _get used to using an indoor litter box. Those contraptions are for felines who are trapped inside cat-containment units (aka houses) not for free-wheeling felines like myself. Because I won’t go outside I have to use them in the winter…But I don’t like it!!! And I show my displeasure by throwing litter everywhere! Ha ha!
  2. I wish I could still smell the ocean air in Cape Town, Africa. It was a hard life being a street cat in South Africa but at least I had no snow and the air always smelled oceany! (Though I will grudgingly admit Canadian air smells pretty nice too! Don’t tell the human I said that!). 
  3. March 19th (the last official day of winter) is my ideal winter night.
  4. Zulu and Frodo get more interesting the longer I am trapped indoors through the winter (don’t tell the human or those two dunderheads I said that). Occasionally I even try to play with them for about five seconds. Then I come to my senses, shake off my winter fever, and give them a good swift wappity whap.

Amarula Gets Cold Feet

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AMARULA: I don’t care how cold it is outside. I needed to get out. I can’t stand being locked in that house with Zulu and Frodo. Cold as it is out here, at least I can have some time to myself….

But someone had other ideas……

AMARULA: Do you ever have that feeling that someone is watching you….

FRODO: Hey sis! You forgot to tell me you were going outside! Good thing I found you

AMARULA: No!!! Who let you out?

FRODO: Don’t worry! I won’t let you out of my sight Big Sis!

AMARULA: This is my tiny patch of gravel. Go away!

FRODO: So do ya wanna build a snowman?

AMARULA: I give up! Maybe if I stand in the snow long enough I will get hypothermia and lapse into a coma. Wake me when summer returns!

We are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Amarula: Go Ahead, Make My Day

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AMARULA: Hey what are you doing? Stop taking photos I am trying to nap.

AMARULA: Yes I know I look cute but leave me in peace!…. On second thought, I was being harsh. Please forgive me. In fact, why don’t you move in closer….that’s right.

AMARULA: Closer….I’ll even let you rub my belly. Don’t you wanna rub my belly? Come on…

AMARULA: Just a little closer…my belly is waiting. Of course, you can trust me! Would I lie to you!?

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. My guiding word principle for 2018 is: “It’s time to turbo-charge the Tortitude!”
  2. A house is not a home without a: rotting mouse carcass on every floor (extra points if the human can smell it but just can’t find it! Heh Heh!).
  3. I look forward to: continuing my reign of terror in and out of the house this year.
  4. I really need to have a one-on-one with Mother Nature, because this winter is lasting way too long and being indoors for so long is not good for my figure!

 

Happy Holidays! Who Wears The Santa Suit Best?

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AMARULA: I am not feeling jolly. I wonder if the human realizes she has exactly 30 seconds left to live if she doesn’t get this thing off me NOW!

ZULU: I don’t know what you’re complaining about Amarula! This outfit is great. The colors really set off my fur. Ho, ho, ho ladies! Who’s been naughty?

ZULU: Hey, wait a minute. Does this make my butt look big?

FRODO: The things we do for our mom, am I right?

FRODO: Ok, box me up! Amarula says Santa needs extra help this year so she is gonna box me up and send me to the North Pole! Yeah! Amarula’s the best! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

We are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Winter Wins This Round

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AMARULA: No! I do not want inside. I refuse to let winter win. I am staying here and not moving until all the snow melts.

Five minutes later….

AMARULA: OK I give up! Let me in! You win this round winter!

 

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

1. I can’t wait to see the human open my gift to her. It’s in the litter box, where I leave all my presents!

2. I have had the same sour expression since winter arrived.

3. I would not mind if Santa were to bring me some fresh cat nip. Frodo got into my last batch! 

4. On Christmas Eve, I always get into the eggnog. That stuff is more potent than cat nip!                     .

Amarula: Winter and the 5 Stages of Grief

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WINTER: The five stages of grief…

Stage 1: DENIAL

AMARULA: I wonder why the human was acting so odd when she let me outside this morning…hey, what is this strange white stuff that seems to be everywhere?

AMARULA: I wonder where all the birds are? Well, I’ll just wait by the bird feeder and terrorize them as they fly by like I always do…if I could just get this white stuff off of my paws…

Stage 2: ANGER

AMARULA: SNOW! Noooooooooooooooooooo! How could you do this to me again Mother Nature! Curses!

Stage 3: BARGAINING

AMARULA: If winter would just go away, I promise I would be nice to Zulu and Frodo.

Stage 4: DEPRESSION

AMARULA: I can never escape winter! I might as well bite down on this electrical cord and end it all now!

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE

AMARULA: It really is everywhere isn’t it?

AMARULA: I’m outta here! Let me inside!

Here are Amarula’s Friendly Fill-Ins hosted by 15andmeowing and McGuffy’s Reader!

  1. Snow is the ENEMY
  2. I is my favorite word in the universe! I like to think that I put the I in tortIe!
  3. One holiday memory that I cherish is when I managed to hack up a hairball right under the Christmas tree! Is there any better gift to show the human just what I think of the holidays and her festive spirit???
  4. I always thought that Santa is clearly a dog person. Why else would he LEAVE presents instead of TAKE them? Clearly a dog lover; no self-respecting cat person would ever do such a crazy thing.