MAL: Before you even begin with your interview Amarula, let me just tell you that I am usually too busy terrorizing the neighborhood mice and keeping the humans in line in my area to take time out for an interview. But you’re cute and I hear you have access to a major supply of cat nip, so I’ll talk. It’s been awhile since I’ve had some ‘nip and I’m starting to crash…
AMARULA: Well we certainly appreciate your time Mal. If I may be so bold, you are certainly the most suave Siamese I have ever come across. Meow!!
MAL: Control yourself Amarula!
AMARULA: Sorry about that….the autumn air makes me crazy! Now as I understand it you are actually a stray cat…
MAL: ….not stray…the PC term is “Unfettered and Fancy-Free Feline.” And yes you are correct. I have been roaming this neighborhood for about 10 years, and though many have tried to imprison—or as the humans say “adopt”—me I prefer to remain a roaming renegade. For the last year or so I have been spending most of my time with a human I know only as “he who brings me duck breast and chicken pate.” But I believe your Human knows him as William, her brother.
AMARULA: Well tell us why you decided to spend so much time with William and deign to grace his abode with your presence.
MAL: Well there are several reasons really. He is a chef at a restaurant, which means he always brings me the most scrumptious treats like fresh turkey, butter chicken and steak. We are also of like-minds in terms of our housekeeping philosophy, which is “Dirt has rights too! So let it thrive.” I find that his shambolic living space encourages mice, and despite my elevated gourmet tastes, I still like a good mouse now and again!
AMARULA: What do you like doing in your spare time for fun?
Mal: Well, clearly I enjoy “redecorating” by making what was once a useless piece of furniture my own personal scratching post.
I also enjoy gnawing on ankles and facing down foes with my “You-have-five-seconds-to-live-unless-you-make-yourself-scarce-or-give-me-chicken” stare, which has been known to put the fear of death into humans, dogs and mice alike.
AMARULA: Thanks so much Mal. Hope to meet you again soon!
MAL: See you later Amarula! Time to hit the road. Gotta do my nightly neighborhood patrol! There’s so many dogs to chase and so little time!