MAL: Before you even begin with your interview Amarula, let me just tell you that I am usually too busy terrorizing the neighborhood mice and keeping the humans in line in my area to take time out for an interview. But you’re cute and I hear you have access to a major supply of cat nip, so I’ll talk. It’s been awhile since I’ve had some ‘nip and I’m starting to crash…
AMARULA: Well we certainly appreciate your time Mal. If I may be so bold, you are certainly the most suave Siamese I have ever come across. Meow!!
MAL: Control yourself Amarula!
AMARULA: Sorry about that….the autumn air makes me crazy! Now as I understand it you are actually a stray cat…
MAL: ….not stray…the PC term is “Unfettered and Fancy-Free Feline.” And yes you are correct. I have been roaming this neighborhood for about 10 years, and though many have tried to imprison—or as the humans say “adopt”—me I prefer to remain a roaming renegade. For the last year or so I have been spending most of my time with a human I know only as “he who brings me duck breast and chicken pate.” But I believe your Human knows him as William, her brother.
AMARULA: Well tell us why you decided to spend so much time with William and deign to grace his abode with your presence.
MAL: Well there are several reasons really. He is a chef at a restaurant, which means he always brings me the most scrumptious treats like fresh turkey, butter chicken and steak. We are also of like-minds in terms of our housekeeping philosophy, which is “Dirt has rights too! So let it thrive.” I find that his shambolic living space encourages mice, and despite my elevated gourmet tastes, I still like a good mouse now and again!
AMARULA: What do you like doing in your spare time for fun?
Mal: Well, clearly I enjoy “redecorating” by making what was once a useless piece of furniture my own personal scratching post.
I also enjoy gnawing on ankles and facing down foes with my “You-have-five-seconds-to-live-unless-you-make-yourself-scarce-or-give-me-chicken” stare, which has been known to put the fear of death into humans, dogs and mice alike.
AMARULA: Thanks so much Mal. Hope to meet you again soon!
MAL: See you later Amarula! Time to hit the road. Gotta do my nightly neighborhood patrol! There’s so many dogs to chase and so little time!
7 thoughts on “Cool Cat of the Month: Malvolio”
amarula….what a total lee awesum interviews !!!!
we N joyed reedin it
malvolio….~~~~~~~~ waves….veree nice two meet ewe ….N we agree…nothin better than rollin in sum dirt….
tho we due knot share yur taste oh ….burd…steak yea………burd…..knot sew much …any way…happee fryday
heerz two a beaked salmon kinda week oh end ! ♥♥♥
Nice interview , you are very cute Amarula. I wish someone would get you altered though because there are too many homeless cats in the world already and I know you don’t want to contribute to the problem.
I agree–good news is that he is neutered luckily so someone must have owned him at one time!
Coolest cat ever
Biltong and Mogy were coolest cats ever! Mal does make the top three though!
Amarula that cheque you promised still hasn’t shown up
Must be lost in the Christmas mail! A truck filled with catnip should be arriving any day!