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Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective: Part 3 Mission Accomplished!

AMARULA (aka Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective): As you may recall, last Monday I had finally cornered my greatest nemesis: Play-Doh (that’s right, as in that sticky, clay-like stuff kids love to play with!). Scuttlebutt among the neighborhood cats is that’s the ridiculous name her human’s gave her! Humans can be so cruel! Hee hee!

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AMARULA:  I will be frank. She proved to be a greater foe than I imagined. She has nerves of steel! Neither of us proved victorious for the sidewalk showdown so we had to take the competition up a notch! It was time for the dreaded “Bouncy Belly Beatdown”. In this fierce battle maneuver, both cats display their bellies in a competition to see whose is the cutest and most rubbable. She started the Bouncy Belly Beatdown:

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AMARULA: She was off to a weak start…

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AMARULA: But pretty quickly she starting giving it her all by exposing what even I must admit is a very rubbable belly!

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AMARULA: So then I showed her my stuff! Close up please…

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AMARULA: Have you ever seen a cuter tummy? And look at that exquisite toe curl! Then I just flash my emerald green eyes and no one can resist me! I mean it’s incredible, right?!

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AMARULA: Finally we had to admit that both our tummies were incredibly cute and call a tie. So we moved on to the final competition: the Staredown!

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AMARULA: She gave it a noble effort…

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AMARULA: But finally she had to admit defeat! I was victorious! The streets, sidewalks and backyards of the neighborhood were once again mine!

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AMARULA: Look at her run in fear (well, alright, maybe not so much run as saunter)! She was a worthy opponent who fought fairly so we came to a compromise that she could visit MY backyard once a week. At other times…

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AMARULA: She has to stay on her side of the fence!

AMARULA: Where she and Frodo can stare longingly at one another from a distance!

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Sherlock Hopeless Pet Detective: Part 2 Sidewalk Showdown!

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AMARULA  (aka Sherlock Hopless Pet Detective): Well, I did it! Phffffft to all you naysayers! I told you I would track down that sneaky feline who has been coming into MY backyard to hang with Frodo and I did it! While my extensive investigative search a few weeks ago proved fruitless, (I simply could not concentrate because I always felt like I was being followed!) this week was much more successful!

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AMARULA: I was doing my regular neighborhood-watch patrol of my sidewalks, minding my own business….

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AMARULA: When Blam! She jumped out of a pile of leaves!

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AMARULA: I relied on my lighting-like reflexes and used some of that fancy footwork us torties are known for to avoid the fluffy ball of danger! Yet she persisted in following me! Did the idiot not realize that I intended to introduce her to my “Paws of Death” to persuade her to stay away from my backyard!? Clearly all that fluff has gone her head!

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AMARULA: Well, I hated to do it, but clearly this was going to call for some serious feline ferociousness! It was time for the dreaded Sidewalk Showdown!

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AMARULA: The goal is to protect your side of the sidewalk until one feline gives way and admits the other’s superiority. It ain’t pretty folks and can get quite fierce! You may want to hide your children and look away…

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AMARULA: Dear readers, you may want to get comfy… this could take awhile…to be continued…

 

And we are doing the Awww Monday Blog hop from Comedyplus!

Catting Around: A First Date!

AMARULA: So I told you earlier this week about the handsome tomcat I met when the human and I went on our walk…

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AMARULA: His name is Charlie. Isn’t he dreamy (but don’t tell him I said so)!!

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AMARULA: Well, we went on our first date yesterday! He invited me on a walk. (Now pay attention ladies and you might learn something about proper dating etiquette)

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AMARULA: He was a perfect gentleman. And I kept enough distance behind him to make it clear that I was a proper lady and expected to be wooed!

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AMARULA: Naturally I looked away every time he looked back to appear disinterested. I didn’t want him to realize how smitten I really was.

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AMARULA: After the walk we went back to his place to hang out.

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AMARULA: Finally, I figured it was time to send a clear signal that I was interested! So I gave him my best moves and batted my eyelashes and looked all coquettish.

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AMARULA: He then showed me his best moves (and his belly)!

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AMARULA: And finally I figured he deserved a kiss! I can’t wait to see him again! Meowwwwww!

 

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Catting Around: Love Is in The Air!

AMARULA: As you may or may not know, the human and I often go for walks around the neighborhood. She thinks I follow her because I like her and want to hang out. Little does she know that I actually want her nearby in case an errant dog decides to chase me. I figure the human makes a tastier morsel for a dog than little ole me! Besides, I get a lot of pleasure at seeing all the neighbors point at the crazy cat lady who walks her cat!

Anyway, on our latest walk I met a boy! I am as shocked as you are dear reader! How could a loan wolf like me who even refuses to be nice to the two clowns (aka Frodo and Zulu) sharing her home possibly open her heart to a boy!? I am still not sure what his intentions are but things seem promising…

 

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AMARULA: It began like any other day…the human and I were going for a stroll

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AMARULA: When suddenly I noticed the faint fragrance of tomcat in the air. I look up and see this striking male specimen. He is one cool cat!

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AMARULA: Not knowing if he is friendly or not, I try to stealthily tip-toe away…

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AMARULA: But he seems friendly and invites me up to share his perch.

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AMARULA: He beckons me forward.

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AMARULA: But I am no easy catch! I indulge in that classic love game of cat-and-mouse and play hard to get. I look away…

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AMARULA: Well, is he looking??

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AMARULA: Now I give him my haughtiest over-the-shoulder glance

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AMARULA: Finally, the coup de grâce. I show him I feel indifference to his courting by feigning a nap on his sidewalk. Yet my slightly exposed belly suggests my affections may yet be won over! I can’t wait until the human and I go for our next walk to see where this may lead! Is love in the air??

 

 

 

 

 

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The Great Escape (attempt)

 

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FRODO: I really don’t think it’s fair that Amarula can go out whenever she wants and she gets to go out without a harness! There has to be a way outta here!

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ZULU: I know what you mean Frodo. It just isn’t fair! And she has such a smug look!

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FRODO: I can’t even stand to look at you right now Amarula! I am so jealous!

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FRODO:  Quick Zulu, I’ll hold the window up and you make a run for it! At least one of us should taste real freedom!

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ZULU: Forget it Frodo. It’s useless. I can’t figure out how to get rid of the screen!

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Go Climb a Tree!

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FRODO: Hey Zulu what are you staring at?

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ZULU: I am in the middle of a staring contest with that dastardly red squirrel who lives under the garage!

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ZULU: Just look at that smug face!

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FRODO: What’s he so smug about Zulu?

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ZULU: He keeps taunting me by coming almost so close that I can catch him!

FRODO: Why can’t you get him big brother?

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ZULU: Because no matter how hard I look, I just can’t find the ladder to get up this tree!

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Frodo’s First Kiss!

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FRODO: So I was in the backyard hanging with my crew, Zulu and Amarula, when suddenly I sensed a new presence in the air. I turned to see this creature:

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FRODO: She is hard to see so look again:

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FRODO: A beautiful apparition appeared as if out of no where!

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FRODO: I could not believe my eyes! So I looked away thinking she might disappear as quickly as she had come:

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FRODO: Nope, it was not a dream! She is real!

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FRODO: Of course, you may be wondering where Zulu and Amarula were during all this excitement. Well, Zulu took one look at the strange cat, cried as though someone had stepped on his tail, pushed me out of the way and promptly ran into the house where he proceeded to hide in the basement for the next 8 hours. Amarula, caught between what I am certain was a brave sisterly impulse to protect me from strangers, and feeling it was her duty to protect the back door from possible intrusion from the stranger went and hid waited by the deck, where she could watch the proceedings from a cowardly brave distance.

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FRODO: Clearly, the strange cat found herself drawn to me (my pirate harness seems to have that effect on the ladies!) cause suddenly she came rushing towards me. She is certainly not coy!

 

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FRODO: My powerful good looks are hard to ignore

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FRODO: Then suddenly…it happened…she kissed me!

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FRODO: And then just as quickly as she came, she was gone!

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FRODO: Come back…come back…I don’t even know your name! I hope we will meet again!

 

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Time for My Human to Die

AMARULA: Well, she’s done it! The human’s really done it! I was minding my own business, having a pleasant day out and about when this orange blob walked by…

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Apparently the human is now allowing Frodo out on a harness into my outdoors! MY outdoors!
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It was bad enough having Zulu to contend with but now I have Frodo invading my Feline Fiefdom!

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Yep! I’ve tried to be nice. I tried to have Zulu killed welcomed Zulu with open arms when he joined me outside. But this, this is too much!

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How much is one cat expected to endure!!?? Someone call the humane society and report my human!

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Zulu’s World-wind Tour of the Great Outdoors!

FRODO: As you know, I faltered a little a couple of days ago when I tried to go outside for my first exploration of the backyard. It was all so darn exciting that I was just plain overwhelmed. Luckily, big brother Zulu was at the ready to help me and he took me out for a personalized tour!

 

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ZULU: Alright Frodo just stay close and follow me! I’ll teach you all about the outdoors.

 

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ZULU: This is my favorite pile of grass. Try to have a good chew at least once daily. You can also expect to throw up the grass sometime around midnight. Never fails! This is mom’s least favorite part of the backyard!

FRODO: YUMMY!! This grass is almost better than tuna!

ZULU: And remember to always take time to bask in the sun! Spending time in the sun outdoors is even better than lying in a sunbeam in the window!

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ZULU: Over here is what I like to call my own private privy! But you have to bring your own toilet paper!

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ZULU: Now we are going towards the area where mom is trying to make a rock garden. It is very important to stay away from here and not dig up stuff!

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ZULU: Well, since this is your first time maybe we can go a little closer just this once!

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ZULU: And always keep an eye out for Amarula. She loves to step on the leash!

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ZULU: And the most important things is to always make time to smell the flowers!

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ZULU: I have a feeling you are gonna love it out here Frodo!

FRODO: Me too!

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The Feline Solution to Any Problem: Take A Nap

FRODO: As you know my efforts to get out-and-about and explore the backyard in my harness did not quite go as I had planned. I spent most of the afternoon hiding under the deck stairs.

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But not to fear! I am going to recharge my bravery with a power nap and get right back out there! There is nothing like a siesta to put the LION back in FELION (at least that’s how I spells it)! Just watch me recharge!

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Oh Yeah! I’m almost ready to head outside again! Hear me roar! I sure am a brave FELION!

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