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The Great Escape (attempt)

 

there has got to be a way out of here

FRODO: I really don’t think it’s fair that Amarula can go out whenever she wants and she gets to go out without a harness! There has to be a way outta here!

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ZULU: I know what you mean Frodo. It just isn’t fair! And she has such a smug look!

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FRODO: I can’t even stand to look at you right now Amarula! I am so jealous!

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FRODO:  Quick Zulu, I’ll hold the window up and you make a run for it! At least one of us should taste real freedom!

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ZULU: Forget it Frodo. It’s useless. I can’t figure out how to get rid of the screen!

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Go Climb a Tree!

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FRODO: Hey Zulu what are you staring at?

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ZULU: I am in the middle of a staring contest with that dastardly red squirrel who lives under the garage!

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ZULU: Just look at that smug face!

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FRODO: What’s he so smug about Zulu?

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ZULU: He keeps taunting me by coming almost so close that I can catch him!

FRODO: Why can’t you get him big brother?

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ZULU: Because no matter how hard I look, I just can’t find the ladder to get up this tree!

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Time for My Human to Die

AMARULA: Well, she’s done it! The human’s really done it! I was minding my own business, having a pleasant day out and about when this orange blob walked by…

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Apparently the human is now allowing Frodo out on a harness into my outdoors! MY outdoors!
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It was bad enough having Zulu to contend with but now I have Frodo invading my Feline Fiefdom!

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Yep! I’ve tried to be nice. I tried to have Zulu killed welcomed Zulu with open arms when he joined me outside. But this, this is too much!

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How much is one cat expected to endure!!?? Someone call the humane society and report my human!

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Zulu’s World-wind Tour of the Great Outdoors!

FRODO: As you know, I faltered a little a couple of days ago when I tried to go outside for my first exploration of the backyard. It was all so darn exciting that I was just plain overwhelmed. Luckily, big brother Zulu was at the ready to help me and he took me out for a personalized tour!

 

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ZULU: Alright Frodo just stay close and follow me! I’ll teach you all about the outdoors.

 

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ZULU: This is my favorite pile of grass. Try to have a good chew at least once daily. You can also expect to throw up the grass sometime around midnight. Never fails! This is mom’s least favorite part of the backyard!

FRODO: YUMMY!! This grass is almost better than tuna!

ZULU: And remember to always take time to bask in the sun! Spending time in the sun outdoors is even better than lying in a sunbeam in the window!

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ZULU: Over here is what I like to call my own private privy! But you have to bring your own toilet paper!

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ZULU: Now we are going towards the area where mom is trying to make a rock garden. It is very important to stay away from here and not dig up stuff!

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ZULU: Well, since this is your first time maybe we can go a little closer just this once!

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ZULU: And always keep an eye out for Amarula. She loves to step on the leash!

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ZULU: And the most important things is to always make time to smell the flowers!

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ZULU: I have a feeling you are gonna love it out here Frodo!

FRODO: Me too!

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The Feline Solution to Any Problem: Take A Nap

FRODO: As you know my efforts to get out-and-about and explore the backyard in my harness did not quite go as I had planned. I spent most of the afternoon hiding under the deck stairs.

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But not to fear! I am going to recharge my bravery with a power nap and get right back out there! There is nothing like a siesta to put the LION back in FELION (at least that’s how I spells it)! Just watch me recharge!

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Oh Yeah! I’m almost ready to head outside again! Hear me roar! I sure am a brave FELION!

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Journey into the Great Outdoors (Almost)

FRODO: Things did not go quite as planned folks! As you know, last week mom got me a harness and decided to let me go outside!

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I was sooooooooooooooo excited. I was ready to jump into the great unknown…

 

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But I got a little nervous and decided that instead of jumping from the deck I would just take the steps down to the backyard

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Unfortunately, when I realized just how gosh darn big the backyard was I got a little scared and hid under the steps!

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I am so embarrassed! Maybe I will just stay inside…or maybe I will try again tomorrow like a big boy! Wish me luck!

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I’m Free! Free at Last!

FRODO: It has been a hard week watching Amarula and a (harnessed) Zulu enjoying the great outdoors from my windowsill seat!

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Not only was it sad but it was also exhausting!

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But then mom came back from shopping with a brand new harness just for me! I think it really captures my “man-of-adventure” personality!

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Now I can run and play safely with my big sis, Amarula, and brother, Zulu! I can’t wait to tell all you guys about my exciting (harnessed) adventures! Yippee! I am ready to jump into the great unknown!

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Yippee! I am ready to jump into the great unknown!

Why I love Springtime!

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AMARULA: As you know I hate winter! All that snow means I can’t go outside for many months. So I love when spring arrives and I can once again rule the outdoors! And yes, while spring also means that Zulu gets to join me outside on his harness…yuck…

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The real reason I am so happy to see the snow go away and the grass turn green again is precisely because Zulu joins me outside!  I get to drive him crazy by standing on his leash so he can’t move or–even better–pulling on his leash so he has to go where I tell him to go!

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ZULU: Get off my leash! Mom! Look what Amarula is doing!

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AMARULA: Oh glorious spring! Who knew I would love it so when Zulu joins me outside!

Being “In” is So Out!

FRODO: Well spring is finally here — at least that’s what Amarula and Zulu keep talking about. They sure are excited about finally going outside again now that the snow is gone (even though Zulu has to wear a harness).

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FRODO: I must admit it does look very exciting out there!

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I can only imagine the adventures I could get up to outside!!

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FRODO: I might finally be able to catch that red squirrel that keeps taunting me!

 

 

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FRODO: Hey Zulu and Amarula when will I be big enough to come join you outside?

AMARULA: Never! The human has no plans to let you outside of the cat containment unit! I heard her saying that even on a harness you would likely get into too much trouble!

FRODO: What’s that you say?!?…but that’s not fair…I really never get to go outside?!?

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FRODO: NEVER??!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. Let me out!

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My Bathtub’s Dirty Secret!

AMARULA: Many of you may not realize just how much I suffer since Frodo has been added to our feline trio. Being pounced on indiscriminately, my favorite box-of-solitude being appropriated and my privacy in the litter box now a forgotten luxury…..

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Yes, Frodo’s crimes are legion and now he is stealing my toys! I had noticed the disappearance of my favorite ping pong and fuzzy balls since his arrival so, over the last few weeks, I have been forced to stash them in what I thought was the perfect secret spot known only to me (and now you dear readers)…the bathtub!

i thought theyweresafe!

 

I had thought these porcelain walls would hide my beloved baubles, but alas, I was wrong! Over the last couple of days, I have noticed that they are slowly disappearing. So using the advanced online degree in engineering I acquired while the Human was sleeping, I set up a hidden camera to get to the truth of what was happening in MY bathtub. Beware dear readers…the shocking photos you are about to behold are enough to curl your whiskers! Frodo was indeed playing with my toys!

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Shocking–no? But it only gets worse…Not only was Frodo frolicking with my toys, he has been using my porcelain palace to do a bevy of bad acts:

Napping:

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Bathing (OK, even I can admit that a bathtub is a pretty good place to self-clean):

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Just looking stupefied as usual…

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And the most terrible act of all…inviting Zulu to join him for playtime:

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I ask you…have I not endured enough??

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Ah well! It is February 29th and leap year only happens every four years so I will make a once-every-four-years exception…if you can’t beat em, join em!

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