Frodo Celebrates National Tabby Day!

AMARULA: Well Frodo, I guess you think you are really something special since today is National Tabby Cat Day. You better not let it go to your head!

FRODO: National Tabby Day! Yipee!! How exciting! Take a good look Amarula….what kind of Tabby am I?

take a good look

AMARULA: You’re about to be a dead Tabby if you don’t get off my Lazyboy! Frankly you seem like a Lazy Tabby to me!

a lazy tabby

AMARULA: Or how about a chubby Tabby?

chubby

FRODO: What about a Handsome Tabby? Could I be the handsome variety of Tabby, Amarula?

frodo

AMARULA: NO definitely not! I would say more of a Martian-like Tabby

 

Martian-like tabby

ZULU: I think  you are a Beloved Tabby Frodo!

bestfriend2

ZULU: Beloved and handsome too! (Though not nearly as handsome as me!)

beloved2

FRODO: Thanks Zulu! I’ll also ask Mom what kind of Tabby I am…..

FRODO: Well Mom said I am a Very Loved Tabby and she also said I’m a not-allowed-on-the-table-but-does-it-anyway Tabby!

kimdopftabbyu mom

FRODO: Mom also said I was officially known as a Classy Tabby!!

AMARULA: I think you mean CLASSIC Tabby Frodo…but she should have said clueless!

FRODO: I am pretty sure she means CLASSY Amarula…check me out!

classy

FRODO: YEAH! I love being a Classy Tabby! And happy National Tabby day to all you Tabbies out there! Yippee!

yeah for tabbies!

In the Doghouse: Dishing the Dirt with Frodo and Zulu!

AMARULA: So a little while ago, Frodo walked by the Human looking like this:

theevidence

Well, as you can imagine this alarmed the human significantly as her sister had just moments ago dropped off a plant that the Human was in charge of looking after while her sister went on vacation.

How did Frodo get into this mess you may wonder? Well I may have played a tiny part…naturally, being the well-behaved cat that I am, when the plant arrived, I called Frodo over and our conversation went something like this:

AMARULA: Frodo come over here and see the new bed the Human got you!

FRODO: Oh Boy! Oh Boy!! For me!? It sure is comfy! Thanks so much for letting me know Amarula. Zulu always says not to trust you but I think you are swell!

plantproof1

AMARULA: Now the Human wants to see you enjoying yourself so make sure you really dig around in the dirt and “make it your own” as they say.

FRODO: Gosh golly this is soooooooooooooooooooooo exciting. I love digging!

plant proof 1

AMARULA: In fact, I think I heard the Human mention something about treats being buried in the dirt so you better check!

FRODO: Oh I will! I will check Amarula and I will be sure to share with you and Zulu! I so hope they are chicken treats!

plantproof3

FRODO: Are you sure there are treats in here Amarula cause I sure can’t find any.

AMARULA: Would I steer you wrong? You just need to dig harder.

FRODO: Okey Dokey!!

litterbox

FRODO: All this digging is so tiring!

plantproof4

AMARULA: You’re right it is a lot of hard work! You better get Zulu to help.

FRODO: You are so smart Amarula! Thanks!

ZULU: Hey! Why didn’t I get a new bed? I wonder if the earthy smell of dirt will make me smell more attractive to the ladies! Let’s dig Frodo…

plantproof5

 

AMARULA: So let’s just say that Zulu and Frodo are not getting any bedtime treats tonight! They are soooooooo in the doghouse! Hee hee! I love being an evil genius!

 

Crime & Punishment: The Questioning…and the Defeat

AMARULA: I have spent the last week wisely gathering clues and spying on monitoring the suspects closely. Sadly, my attempts to question the potential perpetrators did not go as well as I had hoped…

SUSPECT #1 ZULU:

As Zulu is the most timid cat in the household, I had thought getting him to break under my intense questioning would be easy. I was mistaken. Behind that timidity lies the fearlessness of a lion!

I cornered him in the cat condo and tried to get some answers as to where my toys could possibly be…

corneredzulu

Nothing could shake the truth from him. No matter how I threatened and cajoled him he would not fold but merely laughed at my efforts!

suspectzulu

SUSPECT #2 FRODO: I got Frodo alone on several occasions and gave him the old stink eye! I was sure he would wither and cave under my menacing stare but he would not be broken!

staredown

I even tried an old-school beat down to get him to talk but nothing worked!

questioningfrodo

He, like Zulu, only laughed at my efforts to get him to talk. Oh the inhumanity!!

hemerelylaughded

SUSPECT #3 VERA the Hairless One:

This mini human is either insanely clever or dumb as a lamp post. I tried to question her but she merely drooled and then spat up on me. She is inscrutable.

questionningvera

SUSPECT #4, 5 and 6 Odin the Dog, the Raccoons and the Squirrels:

Sadly, Odin and his raccoon and squirrel crew were nowhere to be found. They have escaped justice for now! Though frankly I believe the group of them just doesn’t have enough brain power to have pulled off such a heist as stealing all my toys! Alas dear readers, this leaves me in the unenviable position of admitting to you that I have failed. I am just going to go have a long nap now.

amapraying

I simply do not know who stole my playthings! I fear we shall never know…hey, has anyone seen Frodo around lately…

heeheetheyareallmine

 

Crime and Punishment: The Clues

AMARULA: As you know, dear readers, last week I began my investigation into who has been stealing my toys. I lined up a hefty array of suspects, but I also thought it only fair to present you with the clues that have led me to suspect my list of mischievous miscreants. I don’t want anyone to accuse me of not being impartial!

SUSPECT #1 ZULU: The Clues…

Clue #1: He just looks guilty of something.

zulu deep thought 2

Clue #2: On several occasions, after a catnip-fueled night of carousing and catcalling, I have caught him asleep surrounded by my toys!

uzulutoys

Clue #3: He likes claiming things that are solely mine as his own. I have on several occasions made it clear that the Human’s beloved rocker is actually mine, but Zulu insists it is his:

claiming the rocker

Not to mention how he invades MY outdoor domain!

no that's my blade of grass

There can be little doubt that Zulu is a serious suspect!

SUSPECT #2 FRODO: The Clues…

Clue #1: Much like Zulu, he just plain ole looks guilty! I mean the thing never blinks! Never!

suspectfrodo

Clue #2: We know FRODO is capable of grave deception after he was caught toying with my playthings in the never-to-be-forgotten bathtub incident. And, just like Zulu, he has also been caught in several compromising positions with my toys!

bythefirewithmytoys

Clue #3: The Human had a friend who brought a …shudder…dog for a visit. At some point the canine’s antler toy went missing and I just bet you know who was caught playing with it!

antler antler2

Frodo was even caught sleeping with it!

clues

SUSPECT #3 Vera aka the Furless one: The Clues…

Clue #1: The creature crawls yet has no fur. It’s unnatural!

crawllikeme

Clue #2: Much like Frodo, she is just too darn friendly!! One can only imagine what madness hides behind that seemingly innocent smile!

vera

 

Clue #3: She has also been spotted playing with my toys (and playing with Frodo, which clearly shows a significant lack of judgement)

steal your toys

 

SUSPECT #4, 5 & 6 Odin the dog, the Raccoons and the Squirrels.

Sadly, a large snow fall prevented me from doing my usual neighborhood rounds and ruined my chance to spy on these suspects so I am going to focus my efforts on Zulu, Frodo and Vera!

Now that I have evaluated the clues, I shall spend a few days pondering the evidence. Stay tuned next week when I began to question the suspects! It won’t be pretty!

ZULU: Psssssssssst Frodo, don’t look now but I think Amarula might be on to us. Are you sure you hid the toys well?

don'tlooknowbutithinkhemaybe onto us

FRODO: Don’t worry big bro! I got it covered! Hee hee!

wherearemyfavtoys-hasanyoneseenthem

Crime and Punishment: The Suspects

dissaraydoesnotamuseme

 

AMARULA: As you know from my recent blog post, some cruel beast has been stealing my toys. I have vowed not to rest until the culprit is apprehended and faces the stinging shame of my sharpened claws across his backside (as well as an equally ignominious lashing from the feline-loving dog next door, who has enthusiastically offered to subject the offender to a hundred licks from his slobbery tongue!). I pride myself on my razor-sharp intelligence and therefore I plan to conduct my inquest methodically so as not to miss a single detail. I shall begin by going over the list of possible perpetrators.

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #1: ZULU

zulu

Just one look tells you all you need to know about this feckless feline. When he isn’t hopped up on catnip and barely conscious, he is staring at himself in the mirror singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” to himself.

sunbeams not warm

Or bathing himself for the 100th time in a day!

zulu cleaning

 

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #2: FRODO:

isthatthefaceofaninnocent

Do I really need to explain my reasons?! Is this not the face of a hardened criminal (or at the very least, a feline with very bad gas!)? Could you really trust a cat who is STILL recovering from too much partying on St. Patty’s day?!?!

toomuchpartying

And you do not want to know what he got up to at Easter!

easter

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #3: VERA:

suspectvera

I know Frodo likes the young scamp but she’s got trouble written all over her. Don’t let that innocent smile fool you! Besides, I don’t think creatures who crawl should have skin instead of fur! It’s just not natural!

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #4: ODIN:

odin

One of my many nemeses, much like baby Vera, his youth and beguiling features means he is not to be trusted! Enough said!

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #5: the RACCOONS:

racoon nemesis

They only come out at night and are always in the backyard up to some bad business! They come with their own masks for God’s sake! If they aren’t the ones responsible for stealing my toys, they are certainly guilty of something!!

 

POSSIBLE SUSPECT #6: the SQUIRRELS:

suspectsquirrel

They are always watching me! Even indoors I am not safe! You all know about my long-standing disputes with these nefarious nut-eaters! They are plotting to ruin me so why shouldn’t they also be plotting to drive me crazy by stealing my toys!

Well not to worry! Over the next few days I shall hide and secretly watch all of the suspects’ every move!

watchtheminsilcen

None shall escape my scrutiny! Stay tuned!

watchingeverymovezulu

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