Zulu: Frodo, when my dearly departed brother Biltong and I first became part of this household, Amarula was already on the scene. Clearly jealous of our good looks and sparkling personalities, she refused to acknowledge our existence, so my brother and I had to learn some basic life lessons all on our own. But, Frodo, because I like the cut of your jib and take my role as your new big brother seriously (but mostly because I know it will annoy Amarula to no end) I’m going to let you in on a few secrets that will help you flourish as a feline. So come close and listen carefully…
1. Never drink out of the water bowl. Water bowls are only for cats who are satisfied with the pedestrian things in life. For those of us with more sophisticated palates, the toilet is the only way to go. I can’t explain it, but there is something about that porcelain bowl that changes plain old water into sweet manna from heaven. It’s the feline version of fine French champagne. Now, it can be dangerous at first because there is always the risk of falling in, but with practice you will learn. And the risk is so worth the very refreshing, delicious reward!
Bingo!
2. Always use the litter box. It’s OK to occasionally go outside the litter box to show mom she’s done something that has upset you or to make it clear that the litter needs to be changed, but otherwise it’s best to stick to the appropriately assigned box. I mean, after all, we’re not crass like canines who just do their “toilette” all higgledy-piggledy. And, whoa there Frodo! Normally using the litter box is definitely not a two-man job!
3. Know your place at feeding time. As much as I like you, food comes first. Just follow the assigned eater order and all should be fine:
4. I always win. Play fighting. Now pay attention, the rules are simple: I always win:
5. The window is your friend. You and I (with a few exceptions in my case thanks to a harness) are indoor cats. Because mom rescued Amarula as a stray, she is an outdoor cat. Much to mom’s chagrin, that contrary cat refused to give up the outdoors…something about the song of the open streets being in her blood or some such nonsense. Anyway, in general, the closest we get to the open road is looking at it longingly through a window screen.
It is a big, bustling world out there and it may seem scary at first but there is nothing to be afraid of.
Trust me. You will love the view. Come on! Jump up!
See, what did I tell you?
6. And finally, any time is the right time for a cat nap. And any position is the right position.
And sometimes, it can be equally as comfy to sleep solo and enjoy all the extra space!
Or were you just making room for me?
