Zulu's Essential Lessons in Cattiness | Hairballs and Hissy Fits

Zulu’s Essential Lessons in Cattiness

 

Zulu: Frodo, when my dearly departed brother Biltong and I first became part of this household, Amarula was already on the scene. Clearly jealous of our good looks and sparkling personalities, she refused to acknowledge our existence, so my brother and I had to learn some basic life lessons all on our own. But, Frodo, because I like the cut of your jib and take my role as your new big brother seriously (but mostly because I know it will annoy Amarula to no end) I’m going to let you in on a few secrets that will help you flourish as a feline. So come close and listen carefully…

secrets

 

1. Never drink out of the water bowl. Water bowls are only for cats who are satisfied with the pedestrian things in life. For those of us with more sophisticated palates, the toilet is the only way to go. I can’t explain it, but there is something about that porcelain bowl that changes plain old water into sweet manna from heaven. It’s the feline version of fine French champagne. Now, it can be dangerous at first because there is always the risk of falling in, but with practice you will learn. And the risk is so worth the very refreshing, delicious reward!

drinkoutoftoilet

Bingo!

bingo

2. Always use the litter box. It’s OK to occasionally go outside the litter box to show mom she’s done something that has upset you or to make it clear that the litter needs to be changed, but otherwise it’s best to stick to the appropriately assigned box. I mean, after all, we’re not crass like canines who just do their “toilette” all higgledy-piggledy. And, whoa there Frodo! Normally using the litter box is definitely not a two-man job!

canigetalittleprivacy

3. Know your place at feeding time. As much as I like you, food comes first. Just follow the assigned eater order and all should be fine:

peckingorder

4. I always win. Play fighting. Now pay attention, the rules are simple: I always win:

zandkittenplaying2

zuluandkitten4

5. The window is your friend. You and I (with a few exceptions in my case thanks to a harness) are indoor cats. Because mom rescued Amarula as a stray, she is an outdoor cat. Much to mom’s chagrin, that contrary cat refused to give up the outdoors…something about the song of the open streets being in her blood or some such nonsense. Anyway, in general, the closest we get to the open road is looking at it longingly through a window screen.

It is a big, bustling world out there and it may seem scary at first but there is nothing to be afraid of.

heexpectsmetojumpupthere

Trust me. You will love the view. Come on! Jump up!

sure does lookinteresting

See, what did I tell you?

window view

 

6. And finally, any time is the right time for a cat nap. And any position is the right position.

sleep

zk3

 

And sometimes, it can be equally as comfy to sleep solo and enjoy all the extra space!

roomforzulu

Or were you just making room for me?

earsfront

Zulu's Essential Lessons in Cattiness | Hairballs and Hissy Fits

Introducing Frodo the Kitten!

 

FRODO: As you may have guessed from Amarula’s last post, I have recently arrived to make mom’s feline duo a trio! I’m very excited to be here!

frodo

Zulu is making me feel very welcome. I think mom was right that since Biltong’s death he has really been missing having a fellow feline to cuddle and play with! I am more than happy to oblige…

snuggles1

playwithzulu

asthoughsomeone mimicking my every move

FRODO: Sadly, Amarula is not as yet as happy as Zulu to meet me!

amiandkitten should i eat it

AMARULA: You know I could swallow you in one big gulp!

amaandkitten

AMARULA: It’s true! Don’t let this clown collar fool you people! I am not amused by this new addition!

not amused

FRODO: But I know that eventually she will come around to appreciating me and my hugs!

welcoming

FRODO: I love it here. When I am not hanging with Zulu or befriending Amarula, I am napping or doing Pilates!

kitten1

pilates

sleeping2

I am very happy to be here. Yeah!

yeah

ZULU: Ok! Ok! that’s enough. No more photos for now. The little guy’s had enough. Time for his nap!

enoughphotos

kittensleep-fuzzball

Zulu's Essential Lessons in Cattiness | Hairballs and Hissy Fits

Something Wicked This Way Comes: A Feline Phantom!?!

AMARULA: As you know, the Human and Zulu have been very sad since Biltong died (and I must admit to missing him just a little). I was worried the Human would do something crazy like go out and get another cat just when I was finally down to only one live-in-nemesis, Zulu. But lately, the Human has been acting quite excitable and furtive. I fear something terrible is afoot. Recently I’ve begun to feel as though I am being watched at every turn! Even as I try to nap…

i fell like i am being watched

I’m just being paranoid, right? Tell me there’s nothing behind me!

thisissonotgoingtohappen

No matter where I go, I can’t shake the feeling I’m being followed. Even in my special “Happy Place” box, I feel as though some menacing presence is looming near, pressing down upon me…

notquiteright

But when I turn around and investigate the box, I find nothing!

butnomatterwhereturncan'tseeanything

 

No where is safe! Even while I’m outside surveying my kingdom, I sense an ominous life-force watching me. Do we perhaps have a bat infestation?…

watchingasiroamoutside

I thought I caught a glimpse of a red flame of maliciousness running from my litter box, but alas it escaped me…

i hear something in litter box-but catch only shadow

ZULU: Though I am loath to agree with you Amarula, I too have felt a strange presence nearby. It is getting me all confused and turned around!

pffft they suspect nothing

 

ZULU: But I find it a warm, welcoming spirit that I just can’t wait to meet!

AMARULA: Oh Brother! Whoa! Zulu…I feel it here right now!….Come take a look and tell me please that there is nothing behind me….

be honest zulu is ther somthing behind me-sdo u see it too

 

AMARULA: All I want to know is who’s been sitting in my chair!??

frodo

What could it be!??…to be continued….