It's Hip to Be Harnessed! | Hairballs and Hissy Fits

It’s Hip to Be Harnessed!

ZULU: For my fans out there (and I know there are millions) wondering whether I am still enjoying life as a semi-outdoor (a.k.a harnessed and supervised) cat, I believe the photos say it all:

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I can run like the wind!

run like the wind

I’m flying!! Try to catch me Amarula! I’m so fast you can’t even see me!!

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Well, wait a minute here! This is something worth braking for! Nobody ever told me that the outdoors is filled with lovely ladies who have nothing better to do than give me the attention I so rightfully deserve! Meooooooooooooow!

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It's Hip to Be Harnessed! | Hairballs and Hissy Fits

Leashed and Loving It!

 

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ZULU: As you know, mom has recently been taking me outside

AMARULA: Cats in the know don’t call it “outside” Zulu. It is known as “The Fiefdom of Feline Freedom” or,  better yet, “Amarula’s Domain”…

ZULU: Shhhhhh Amarula! It’s my turn to talk. I have to wear a harness but I don’t mind cause I love being outdoors! Despite my thirst for attention from mom…

AMARULA: You mean your neediness…

ZULU: …And my well-earned reputation as a lady’s man (not only am I incredibly dashing but, though I usually hide from men, I often come out from under the bed to say hi to the ladies!) I can be ever so slightly timid…

AMARULA: You mean neurotic…

ZULU: …As I was saying, I used to think I would never want to leave the house—aka, the cat-containment unit—and go outside, but I am having a great time! I don’t even mind that being outside means I have to spend more time with Amarula!

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Amarula is even telling me all kinds of secrets about life as an outdoor cat. She said she’s  going to help me get into an exclusive feline club that she’s already a member of: “The Society of Cantankerous & Caterwauling, Unshackled Outdoor Cats.”

secret

Amarula says there’s a special initiation rite I have to pass before becoming accepted. I just have to leave the back yard when mom’s not looking, befriend the German Shepard across the street by eating from his food bowl, go through the Walmart parking lot while avoiding the gang of ne’er-do-well feral cats, then walk 20 blocks and cross a very busy highway with my eyes closed until I reach the cat club house. If I can do all that I will be granted membership into the club!

AMARULA: Finally my plan to get rid of Zulu is coming to fruition… mmmmmwwwwahahahahahaha….

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ZULU: Well, I was about to set off when mom found out what Amarula was up to and put a stop to her dastardly plans!

AMARULA: I’m outta here…..

hey what's going on

ZULU: Despite Amarula’s little prank, I still love the outdoors!

 

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